The Big Boy Room

The thing about proper gym training is that the relationship you build with your trainer becomes so much more than that of a task manager.  The thing about being with someone who really knows what they are doing is that at a certain point they know your body and its limits better than you do.  Darrell stepped up our training by taking me to the area of the gym where the big boys train.  That part that I dared not tread in the past as I felt this area was off limits to me.  I am not sure if this is the former fatty talking or just someone who happens to have a vagina rather than a penis.  But, there is something about the testosterone fuelled weight lifting floor that scared the hell out of me.  But, full of excitement and a bag of nerves I followed Darrell into belly of the beast, also known as the body building floor.

Today we were going to do dead lifts.  I was going to do deadlifts!! My form was good and I felt stronger than I ever had my whole life.  That’s the thing about living in a fat suit, when you are in it though you are pushing every possible physical boundary with the sheer mass you are carrying you don’t feel strong.  Quite the opposite, you feel weak and at the mercy of something you need for survival yet can’t control.  So, this new feeling of strength was something almost spiritual.  Having spent the better part of my life hiding my body the idea of lifting weights was a bit cathartic.  The “big boy” room thick with testosterone and heaving with the kind of men that I feared would judge me actually respected my effort.  It was another stamp to add to my “passport” of places I felt I was not allowed to enter as a fat girl.  Whether societal or self-imposed there were just some things that were off limits to me in my old body.

But, this wasn’t all about my head.  Under Darrell’s expert guidance my body so beaten and scared from weight loss and plastic surgery was toned and taut.  The results were hard to dismiss and furthered my original hypothesis that it was all about excuses.  Once the barriers were dropped and I really took on board what Darrell was teaching me I had complete faith in the process.

Since this was written Darrell has moved.  What is a huge loss to me is a massive gain to clients in Leeds.  Darrell is so much more than a trainer.  He helped me in ways I could not have imagined.  You see the last thing I had wanted in the beginning was a male trainer.   Men in the gym generally had been something I tried to avoid at all costs.  But, the idea of working one on one with a male PT was something of nightmares.  It was my own jaded view of men in general I suppose, but in my mind they represented everything that kept me weak.  These were the kind of guys that mooed at the 16 year old Melissa.  I suppose I stereotyped all “fit” men in this way.  But, Darrell changed all that.  He showed me that my only limitations were self-imposed and anything was possible.  He pushed me continuously and encouraged me to lift more and was always there to spot me when I needed it, whilst at the same time knowing when to hold back and let me take care of business.  The sessions we had were about pushing the limits I had and helping me attain a strength I didn’t think possible. We had many a conversation that started with me saying “I want to be able to do Tough Mudder or I think I want to enter a charity boxing match or I want to be able to do pull ups unaided.”  His reply was always “you can do it” “we can train for that”.

So, Darrell I can’t possibly thank you enough for what you have given me.  You are a credit not only to your profession, but more importantly to your gender.

I will continue this journey with a new trainer.  So, this is not over yet!

Watch this space…

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#NoExcuses

14721649_669567459868728_1004468577750512185_nSo it begins! I have never made my advocacy  for the Abby Pell’s of this world a secret. Those amazing super humans who embraced the “no excuses” hashtag with both hands and got mostly hate for their effort.  I remain an advocate for all body shapes.  But, why is it that these women who have chosen to push their physical limits get so much hate?  As anyone who has followed me knows I used to weigh over 350 pounds.  I am certainly not the poster girl for gym bunnies by any stretch of the imagination.  But, this topic intrigues me, particularly in light of the recent controversy over Eugenia Cooney’s YouTube channel and the petition to ban her.  Now I do agree she certainly has an eating disorder.  But, has the pendulum swung so far that it is now ok to body shame those we consider too skinny?  There are super sized (by their own description) fashion bloggers that if they were experiencing the same vitriol as Eugenia we would be going out of our way to defend them.  Are they not just as much of an example of an eating disorder as Eugenia? I don’t know the answer.  But, I digress.  This is about really digging deep and saying NO actually there is no excuse for this middle age spread.  Yes, I have lost a lot of weight and have been incredibly lucky to have been able to have the extensive plastic surgery to remove loose skin.  But, that just put me on a more level playing field with the majority of women.  I am an extremely busy mum of seven year old twins.  I don’t want to get up at 5am to do crunches in my living room any more than anyone else.  But, having lived most of my life in a fat suit feel I would be doing myself the ultimate dis-service by not finding out what is possible.

7d8d319de325f162b18b58dfdf687460So, my question was; what happens when an average mum drops all excuses and hits the gym?  Well the first step like most of my body transformation would require expert help.  This would seem the easy part.  But, I soon found out that picking a personal trainer is very much like finding a therapist or partner for that matter.  You need someone you trust and that you can work with.  I searched for months before I found Darrell Wilson of DW Holistic Fitness.  During our first meeting he blinded me with the science of exercise.  It’s not that I expected a personal trainer to be dim.  But, I suppose we all hold silly stereotypes of the super fit perhaps being more muscle than brain, to which I profusely apologise.  Darrell has an incredible knowledge of not only the science of behind exercise, but also knows everything you can possibly think of about the nutrition needed to lose weight and gain muscle. His ability to explain the reasons behind every movement is nothing short of astounding.

Over my many years as a serial dieter I have possessed many a gym membership.  For the most part it was the usual story.  Following the obligatory “New Year’s resolution” I happily handed over my bank details to a very pushy sales person and for a month or two religiously went to the gym losing that same two stone repeatedly each year only to gain it back the second I eyeballed a cream cake. But, the fact is walking halfheartedly on a treadmill and pushing around a couple of dumbbells for an hour does not a six pack make.

There is certainly much more reason to be motivated when you have someone at your side to tell you exactly what is happening to your body during exercise.   Having thought I knew quite a lot about the topic myself soon learned I didn’t know much at all.  So, having found “the one” we started training. I think the best part of working with a great PT is that you are really motivated to make progress.  Was I sore the next day?  Yes!  I found muscles I didn’t know existed.  The feeling of satisfaction following each workout cannot be put into words.  The truly amazing thing is how quickly I felt the results.  I am obviously a work in progress, but having been working with Darrell for just over a month now the difference in my body is very noticeable.  The satisfaction in seeing the free weights go up each week is an awesome feeling.  He is a ball buster in the nicest possible way!  The workouts are always challenging, but the fact that I am seeing the results is such a great motivator.  I started out with a marked weakness on my left side as compared to the right.  But, over the last few weeks I have seen such a big difference that my left side has nearly caught up.

I have certainly come a long way from the “Davina” hand weights collecting dust under my bed.  Having that support from someone at your side each session is extra motivation to stay on track.  I have been resistant to having a trainer in the past because I felt self-conscious.  But, Darrell in addition to knowing what he is talking about is a genuinely nice person that spurs you on in such a positive way.  I can’t think of a better cheerleader in this very foreign territory.

So, I remain without excuses and on the way to finding out what is truly possible.  This is chapter one of a series on building a better body.  Will I end up with a six pack? Don’t know! But, what is certain is that building a better body is so much more complex then losing weight.  So, with science, good nutrition and a truly inspirational Trainer there are no excuses and no limits!

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Rapunzel Me!

Gimme head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen

Give me down to there hair
Shoulder length or longer hair
Here baby, there mama
everywhere daddy daddy

You get the idea!! Hair is probably something those who have it in abundance take for granted.  There was a time many, many years ago I had thick hair.  So, thick in fact my mum would cut it short because it was so unmanageable.  I cannot pinpoint the exact time in my life that my hair started thinning.  But, as someone who was diagnosed with Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome in my twenties I think it’s probably likely that is when it all went south.  One of the unfortunate side effects of PCOS as it is known is hormone imbalance which in part causes a higher level of testosterone which sadly means thinning of hair where you want it and more hair where you don’t.  Enter ladybeard! But, that’s another story altogether. As I got older my hair gradually got thinner with the last straw being massive weight loss.  Having lost so much weight over such a short amount of meant that I unintentionally left myself vulnerable to vitamin deficiencies.  I am the first one to admit I was not as vigilant as I should have been in taking my supplements.

There are lots excellent aesthetic treatments such as PRP and Mesotherapy to treat thinning hair.  The science behind them is impressive and in a later blog I will discuss my own results with Mesotherapy.  However, I have a very short attention span and want instant gratification!

How do you create a head of hair out of nothing?  Well extensions of course.  This was something I had thought about a lot.  I had an increasing number of followers asking me my opinion on hair extensions.  I recall a wonderful article written by Dr Miriam Stoppard about all the reasons women over 40 should consider extensions.  Not the least of which is, that long flowing hair is associated with being carefree and youthful.

So, mission directive established I was off to get hair.  An exercise that was surely completely straightforward and simple, right? Actually, not so much! There is clip in, glue in, weaves, wefts, wigs, falls, Brazilian, Indian, Russian, micro loop, human hair synthetic and a multitude of other options to choose from.  Clearly, I would need to find a true expert.

dendelenIn looking at the different types of extensions one of the first things I learned is that there are few things that will kill your look quicker than a dodgy set of extensions.In order to maintain the integrity of your natural hair you need expert advice!  This is not something I would ever recommend as a diy project.  The pages and pages of hideous pictures of matted half bald scalps following a bad weave were endless.

I researched and researched the best and the brightest and was incredibly lucky that it just so happened that the cream of the crop Den Delen Owner/Director and generally amazing Wonder Woman entrepreneur and expert Hair Extension practitioner was right on my door step in SE London.  Her salon Showoff Hair Extensions had an excellent reputation and so off I went to see the lady herself to get properly Rapunzel’ed.   She did a consultation explaining exactly what type of hair I would need to achieve a natural look.  I was colour matched and advised that a combination of Nano and Micro loop Russian hair extensions would be used.  The tiny nano were placed at the sides in order to wear my hair up and not see any of the tiny bits that were looped into my own hair at the base. The extensions took roughly  two-three hours to put in. Watching her work was amazing as to me all these little bits look so fiddly, but in expert hands there was a rhythm of looping and clamping that was beyond impressive.  It was easy to see why Showoff had such a great reputation.  It is a beautiful tranquil environment that offers a number of aesthetic and beauty treatments as well as hair.

Once the hair was placed I got the big reveal!  I almost cried it was so beautiful! The hair was perfectly matched and looked 100% all mine.  I couldn’t stop touching it.  In the days that followed as I grew accustomed to this amazing mane I loved it more each day.  Den was careful to explain all the necessary information to keep the hair perfect. Rules around the way you wash, brush and generally everything you could possibly need to know to make sure it always looks its best.

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This was my first event with the new hair.  What can I say? Awesome!!

 

I must digress slightly here though.  I normally do not comment about specific customer service issues when reviewing a treatment.  But, whilst I was at Showoff something so amazing and extraordinary happened I think it would be remiss of me if I did not mention it.  There was a young woman in the salon who was crying and so distressed.  It unfolded that she was due to be married on the following Saturday and the company that she had paid to provide pretty much everything for her wedding had gone into administration that afternoon and she had just been informed that her day was basically ruined.  Den and the girls stopped everything that they were doing to help this girl.  The issues she was having had nothing to do with the services they offered. But, they went above and beyond to calm her down and helped her arrange new equipment, etc.  So, I can honestly say that with Showoff Hair Extensions customer service is Queen!

They are truly an amazing team of very talented women.  So much so they have been nominated for the Perrys Exceptional Customer Service Award.  They truly deserve it and if you would like to take a moment and vote for the amazing girls of Showoff please email exceptionalawards@pmwcom.co.uk writing Showoff Hair Extensions in the subject line!

A Clockwork Orange Peel

Cellulite!!  Ugh!  It is not even a pretty word.  A bit like moist, every time I hear it I just cringe!  First of all everyone has a bit of cellulite at one point or another.  But, unfortunately I have it all the time.  Primarily because I spent the majority of my life morbidly obese, cellulite is the price I have to pay for my years of gluttony. Although I have lost a huge amount of weight and have had reconstructive surgery for loose skin, the cellulite in one form or another remains.

I have tried lotions, potions and various notions.  Short of voodoo I have yet to find a miracle.  Now I am sure you have heard of the various anti-cellulite tights and leggings.  There are several companies that make them, all with very ambitious claims about “impregnated” fabric and that they sacrifice a live chicken in the factory to ensure your positive results.  Ok, I made that last bit up!! But, you see where I am going.  There are some very grand claims out there for what is often a very mediocre product.   As some of these products are very expensive, the last thing you want is to spend £200 on what ends being a pair of lazy pants you wear on the school run.

I am very much a believer in finding those special treasures in places you would not normally look.  I love the idea of trying something from a lesser known company as often they have something super special, but perhaps the world hasn’t discovered them yet.  I met this amazing and very inspiring entrepreneur Fabia Santos at a plastic surgery conference.  Her company called Yoga Compression Garments was not one I had heard of before, but her belief and dedication to her products hooked me right in.  I wasn’t sure why at the time, but she was definitely someone I wanted to know better.  There was the added bonus I suppose because it is a Brazilian company I thought if anyone in the world is going to know how to make your ass look good, it’s going to be them!

Over the course of researching the products what I learned was that in addition to the leggings which I will get to later, Fabia has dedicated herself to helping women going through reconstructive surgeries.  She attends hospitals herself to ensure post surgical garments are fitted properly and educates medical staff on the importance of garment fitting in the healing process.  I suppose this resonated with me because I have been in the position of trying to get myself into post surgery garments that in retrospect did more harm than good.  One very ill-fitting corset I had following abdominoplasty  I referred to as “the juicer”.  The second I put it on my clothes were soaked with the excess drainage.  So, the work she does is an integral part of the healing process for women that are already feeling quite vulnerable following life changing operations that are not always cosmetic.  As a professional Fabia is someone who really “walks the talk”.

The leggings are called The Yoga Emana.  They absorb heat from the body and return in the form of “long infrared rays”.  The rays are then absorbed into the skin and stimulate circulation and cellular metabolism.  The leggings contain bio-active crystals and so these properties are not lost when they are washed.  Amongst the many benefits that are purported:

Increased cellular metabolism
Increased skin elasticity
Reducing the appearance of cellulite
Thermal equilibrium
Reduction of muscle fatigue

So, with my magic leggings in hand I was off to try them myself in hopes of conquering these beastly dimples! Putting aside that they are meant to benefit you by wearing them, as a product they are beautiful and really flattering.  The instructions are that you are to wear them 12 hours a day.  I must say this was easy as they go with everything and really give you a beautiful shape.  They are so comfortable, yet hold everything in as well as pushing that excess junk in the trunk up perfectly.

The initial trial is meant to show results within weeks.  As I have particularly bad cellulite I took before pictures over six weeks.  The results were everything that was promised.  There was a marked difference in the smoothness of the skin and I definitely found the dimpling in my upper thighs in particular to have reduced.

Although I was primarily trialling them in order to ascertain the anti-cellulite properties I did actually find that there was a marked difference in how my legs felt following a run when wearing them.  So, there is definitely something too the claims about reducing fatigue.  From day one I was able to pack more punch into a workout wearing my Emana’s.  All in all the trial was extremely successful.  I can’t recommend them enough.  They retail for £95, which is a reasonable price for leggings that deliver the goods.  They remain in my normal rotation as my go to workout wear as well as sneaking them under other garments as a much more comfortable option to your standard “suck in your gut” pants.  An all around great product from a fabulous company.

 

Bingo Wings Baby!

I suppose there is a point in every woman’s life where they reach a certain age and realise that their arms in particular start looking a bit, well there is no polite way to put it.  They start getting a bit saggy and even with muscle tone just don’t have that spring back they used to.  This is a particular issue if you are carrying some extra weight or like in my case you have lost a lot of weight.  There is only so much exercise can do!  I was incredibly lucky that following my weight loss I was able to have an arm reduction.  But, realistically this is out of range for the majority of women.  However, even following surgery my arms are still something I am a bit self conscious about.

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Enter Wingz! This company makes a range of “sleeves” that are worn with sleeveless clothing to give you some extra coverage when you are just not feeling sleeveless ready.  I was gifted a set of white wingz to test drive and review.  The concept is brilliant.  I do think that the black is probably much more versatile as it is easier to match the darker sleeve.  But, that is just me.  I don’t tend to wear lighter colours.

The line itself has a range of styles that are really beautiful and I think are an absolute godsend for those of us who are not comfortable with showing our arms. The fabric is lightweight and ideal for the summer which can be a big girls worst nightmare.  Part of the range includes a Chiffon Flare style which I think would be perfect to dress up those summer numbers instead of the old standard bolero.  They fit discreetly under your bra.  So, they really do end up looking like a part of your outfit.

p-2818-big-cat-wingz-280x175Wingz are a great addition to your wardrobe and certainly would allow anyone that has issues showing their arms to expand their wardrobe as there is a set of Wingz to fit any style.

Body Positive Bling

20160216_213311.pngI often think about how difficult it must be for young girls in particular. There is so much pressure to be like Kylie or whoever else is this weeks must have “bod”. So, when someone approaches me with something so beautiful and generous as Fiona De Buitlear of Trinkets Jewellery in Ireland I can’t help but be on board.

Fiona Is using her bling business as a platform to promote a body positive “real model” message. The plan is simple, she will give away a gorgeous bit of sparkle in return for a “selfie” and message that reflects a positive body image.

 

Fiona sent me what I can only describe as magpie heaven! My payment was a selfie and an agreement to be one of her “real models”.
IMG_20160204_162923.jpgWhat strikes me about this campaign is this isn’t rhetoric and is not a bunch of well-meaning words for self-promotion. She is literally putting her money where her mouth is. I am absolutely in awe of what she is doing. It takes great courage to put convictions over money. I always find it intriguing that some of the most provocative business decisions come from those with the most to lose. As a small business owner she is taking a huge risk. For this I feel it is our obligation to not only support her, but pressure other businesses to do the get on board.

The bottom line is every woman deserves to feel beautiful and femininity does not have a size!

IMG_20160204_163139So, I would ask everyone to support the amazing work that Fiona is doing. She is an inspiration and if all of us were willing to wear are ovaries on the outside once in a while the world would be a much more accepting place.

Off to put in my order for one or ten bling bangles!

 

The Bloodbath

prp face

So, here we go again!  First it was Kim Kardashian, face covered in blood wincing in pain whilst supposedly having a “Vampire” Facial.  The procedure looking as gory as possible, the beautiful celebrity showing the blood, sweat and tears it takes to be beautiful, right?

This week the latest celebrity to endure this obviously barbaric treatment was Ferne McCann.  Poor girl covered in blood looking like she had been glassed in the face after a rough night at the Sugar Hut.  An apparent professional had done this to her in the name of beauty.  Sounds dreadful, doesn’t it?  But, the thing is a “Vampire” facial does not look like this.  The actual procedure which I have had on more than one occasion does not involve injecting red blood cells into the face.  I find it extremely disturbing that anyone would claim otherwise.  Having had the treatment myself on more than one occasion I can say with certainty that I have never left a clinic with blood smeared over my face.  To claim otherwise is ridiculous.

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Dr Sister injection the clear serum

I have been treated by Dr Daniel Sister.  Dr Sister is a pioneer in anti-ageing treatments with his method of Dracula Therapy™.  This procedure involves taking a vile of your own blood and spinning it in a centrifuge in order to separate the red blood cells from the clear serum and platelets.  Did you get that?  Clear serum! The platelets are then injected into the face in order to reduce the signs of ageing. The injections encourage DNA repair thus, making the skin appear more youthful and rejuvenated.  I have had these treatments with Dr Sister on my face as well as other parts of my body as Dracula Therapy™ is used to reduce the appearance of scars.

I assume a bloody face makes for a good headline.  We are all talking about it, so job done.  But, this does a huge disservice to the aesthetic industry as a whole.  PRP as it is also known is a very effective minimally invasive treatment.  It has a number of uses including treatment of scars, hair loss, osteoarthritis and the ground breaking work being done by Claudia McGloin and her Rejuvula treatment that uses Dracula Therapy™ for vaginal rejuvenation.

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Dr Sister and I after Dracula treatment on my face.

Dracula Therapy™ is an amazing treatment.  It was almost erased my scars and left me with glowing skin. So, please give us some credit and leave the bloodbath for the cinema.

Un-ageing Gracefully

In the run up to my 45th birthday I thought it only right to look at some of the ways to beat back the hand of time. This is the first article in a series about women and ageing.  More accurately the lengths at which I intend to go to in order to look the way I feel.  I suppose it is all part of the bigger transformation.  As a young woman I was so overweight I didn’t have any self esteem.  I don’t think I was ever able to fully experience the luxury of “youth”.  I spent the years I should have been having fun and being carefree stuck inside wallowing in my relative fatness.

So, call it a mid-life crisis or perhaps just complete unadulterated insanity, but I want my youth back, now that I can fully enjoy it!  The fact is I don’t feel old.  I have young children, I am active and love all things trendy.  I don’t see the point of letting father time win.  So, I have made a decision that I am going to opt out of the ageing process or at least fight it kicking and screaming.

Having relatively decent skin for a pre-geriatric I have gone on a quest to find out the most advantageous ways to un-age gracefully.  Over the course of the next couple of months I will be undergoing treatments involving needles, infra-red probes, heat, electricity, more needles, exercise and just plain old good nutrition.   So, with the help of some of best Aesthetic Professionals in the world the clock stops here!

Once upon a time there was a lump of coal…

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The brief was quite extensive and very ambitious. Antonia Mariconda would be showing us how to manifest £250.000 worth of PR for our blogs and businesses. Not a small feat considering I was sitting amongst the current and future leaders in the Aesthetic and beauty industry. The atmosphere like all of Antonia’s workshops was electric, but with that special warmth that she exudes. Antonia is genuinely beautiful inside and out with an amazing energy that makes you feel like you can conquer anything! I have known Antonia for a couple of years now and have come to consider her as a great friend, mentor and Fairy Godmamma. She is the picture of glamour, but with an uncanny ability to deliver a huge amount of information without being repetitive or boring.

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The workshop started dramatically with the lights turned down and lots of glitz on the tables.  She talked about finding your niche and looking within to catch your inner star. I was privileged enough to share my own story of success at both the morning and afternoon sessions. I have attended her previous workshops; “Build a Blog” and “Twitter for Success”. I had started blogging as a way to support others and satisfy my love of writing. However, with Fairy Godmamma guidance and a lot of hard work I managed to parley my little story into one of transformation and become a serious player with a high level of social media influence. Without Antonia’s fairy dust I would be just another blogger looking over the fence wishing I was part of “the club”.

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Being your own PR is daunting and not for the meek.  But, with the steps layed out by Antonia I left feeling like I could do anything.  She is super savy and in every way someone who worked for everything she has accomplished, truly a self made woman in every respect. To say this workshop is essential is a massive understatement. The information encased within the glossy packaging was hardcore and all business. This was a jargon free way to teach PR without relying on old clichés to make a point. Most “how to’s” are nothing more than a repackaged dictionary definition of what Public Relations are. This teaching was on a much deeper level, putting the onus on us, to really think about what makes us special and how to work it. We were forced to stop and reflect on finding your own way of getting noticed and how to sustain it. This was not about being a one trick pony, but more about a robust media strategy and finding new and innovative ways to market yourself.

I left this workshop knowing that anything was possible and that once upon a time a lump of coal became a beautiful diamond that will continue to shine bright.

The Power Within

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This week has been quite a whirlwind.  The week started with an amazing two days attending Professional Beauty in London.  Met some amazing people and was gifted a gorgeous assortment of products which I will be bringing you very soon.   Actually, my blog this week was meant to be an open letter to Bradley Cooper listing all the reasons I feel he should give me his Oscars Goody Bag.  However, sometimes life gives you its own special kind of goody bag.

After a very glamourous two days at Pro Beauty, there was the inevitable return to reality.  But, just as I was preparing for “normal” something crazy happened.  I was informed by the Daily Mail that they would be featuring my plastic surgery story in the Femail section.  In the past I was asked to do a story for them.  But, due to my concerns over being ripped apart by the comment section I always hesitated.  But, now it had happened!  No shelter, no preparing myself, it was raw and although I feel confident about my body, my self-esteem is still very fragile.  Within 10 minutes of the article going live, I was inundated with media requests and offers.  I was not remotely prepared for the interest the story would generate.  I have been involved in media previously having had my surgery broadcast.  But, this had a life of its own.  Again my concern wasn’t in the sharing, but in the scrutiny that I knew would follow.

I worried that I would be channelled right back to my 10 year old self who was bullied so severely over my weight, I was home schooled in the end.  I made the decision that I would not look at any comments.  I have an amazing and invaluable resource in my Advisor, friend and all around Social Media Fairy Godmamma Antonia Mariconda who said, should I be confronted with any negativity to sail through it like a swan.  She was right as usual!  The feedback that I have received has been 99% positive.  With her guidance and fairy dust I am sailing and keeping my power.  I must say at this point I could not have made through the last few days with my sanity intact without the “The Cosmedic Coach” and her superhero powers.

But, in the grand scheme of things what does this all mean? Well, in the end I did succumb to the temptation of seeing what people were saying about me.  It turned into an extremely cathartic experience.  Not only have I been able to share my journey,   deeper than that I learned that I am no longer the vulnerable fat girl. That little girl who wet herself on purpose to get sent home from school as it was my only escape from the bullies is a woman now!  A strong empowered woman who isn’t going to allow anyone to take her power away again!

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